DENY- ILL

I know this posting is way over due. Once Laina left, everything went back to the way it was before she came. She felt so far away, and it felt like the 5 weeks this summer were just a dream. I was driving on Rt. 80 and I saw "DENY - ILL" on a license plate and at first I thought it said, "De-NY (New York) Ill" and thought NY will make you ill?! Okay, denial is a powerful emotion, you must admit, and I have a strong relationship with it right now, so it took a little while before I realized what it truly said. Then I just had to agree with it. At least I am not in denial that I am in denial.

After she left, I slept in her room for a couple of days. Then Jeremy also did. I also caught Craig in there napping. I think we all just wanted to somehow connect with her, to hold on.

Jeremy misses her terribly, as do Craig and I. We cleaned her room out and organized it a couple of weeks ago, and that was a difficult task. Although we are hoping on having her back in our lives forever, nothing is for sure until it is done. Her leaving feels like a huge loss in our lives. It is pretty amazing how much she has affected our lives in only a few short weeks.

So, we all have moments when we remember and this summer feels real again, and then we go back to living life as before. Denial can be bliss, or at least for now it is helping us survive.