All the Color is Gone

Laina left on Saturday night. The days before she left we kept busy - Great Wolf, Great Adventure, etc. Whenever she would get sad, I would tell her, "No crying today. Today we are going to just be happy."

We packed her things Friday night and she wanted to take everything, of course. She was only allowed to take 2-3 toys, so she took her "babies." We told her that this was her room and all her toys would be here when she returned at Christmas time. I slept in her bed that night, and she woke up several times saying in Russian, "Oh, tomorrow I'm flying home," or just sadly saying, "Tomorrow." Saturday we just all cuddled together until we had to leave.

It was difficult at the airport, but strangely we all avoided the obvious sadness that lingered in the air. She was excited, but at the same time sad. We were busing helping get tickets and watching other children, that we didn't have time to be sad. When it time to go, she did not cry. We said our "I love you's" and we waved goodbye through security. We waved to each other as she walked down the corridor until she was gone.

The next day was surreal. I felt like the last 5 1/2 weeks were a dream. Was it real? Did it all happen? She felt so far away. Later that day, we realized that something was different with the pond. There was no more bright oranges and whites, no more color. All the koi in the pond have vanished.