Week 3

What a stressful week! We had the chaperon from Russia stay with us for about 6 days. Laina was not liking that. She was very nice and spoke English well, so we were able to find out a lot about Russia and a little about Laina. But, having a stranger in our home and feeling like we were being evaluated, was difficult. And of course, Jeremy was at his worst, going through his own emotional stuff.

We went into NYC and checked out the sites. We also met another host parent and host child (Ashleigh and Irina) and went to the Museum of Natural History. It was hot, but we had a great time.

Laina told the chaperon, Victoria, that she has been to America before, when she was 7 1/2 years old. She also told her she has no siblings and has been in the orphanage (or "house" as they call it) since she was 4 years old. She was there because she had to be hospitalized because her grandmother "hurt" her. She said her mother works as a head cashier in St. Petersburg and comes to see her often at the orphanage. Victoria said she doesn't entirely believe her because she would not have been place in the house if her mother was not the one neglecting or abusing her. Many children create fantasy parents or glorify their parents. I did believe that she was physically abused because one time I had raised my arm up quickly and she flinched. I knew then that she must have been abused. Also, I was able to get my hands on her passport and it confirmed that she had been her the winter of 2007 and went to Texas. It was through another hosting organization. Her picture is adorable. She has pigtails and looks a little sad in the picture, but so cute.

We celebrated her birthday and had a small party for her. Many people from my work were so wonderful and bought her gifts. She didn't quite understand what was happening, especially since they don't celebrate birthdays really. They celebrate "name" days. But she knew the "Happy Birthday" song! She had a lot of fun opening her gifts and of course, singing and dancing for all of us.

Sometimes she gets mad at me, and I have no idea why. This is when the difficulty in communication comes in. It may be because she wanted to sit by me, but someone else did. Or that she wanted to do something, but I couldn't understand what. She gets alittle pouty and folds her arms, but soon gets over it (you can see in some of the pictures at the zoo, she's alittle pouty.)

I spoke with Ashleigh about Irina's English (which is very good). She said she just talks in English to her all day and describes what she is doing. So, I decided to do the same thing, and boy has Laina's English improved. She usually understands what I am saying. I told her to clean her room, and she knew immediately what I was saying. She quickly said, "No." But later, she took my hand and showed me her room, and it was all cleaned up.

She nows calls me Mommy.

Week 2

I know it's been a while since I posted. We have been going and going and going. And of course, then I got sick and lost my voice for about a week, and felt miserable. Probably from exhaustion and stress.

Laina has remained true to herself, and her personality has not changed. She is outgoing, loving, sweet and loves to be the center of attention. She likes to sing and pretend she is Hannah Montana. She is very funny and puts on quite a show! She was singing some Russian songs, but we realized (and it took us awhile), that she was singing some American songs also, although they had quite a Russian twist. She loves to sing, "I feel good." But she has made up her own words and I laugh so hard every time she sings it. She also does this thing where she stands still, but shakes her butt. Anytime I am sad, she does this now because it makes me smile.

Jeremy has had a much harder time these past two weeks, and has been acting out to demonstrate this. But, this is expected now that another child has come into our lives. He is jealous and wants extra attention so that he knows we still love him. He has been quite difficult at times and Laina shakes her head and says, "Ahh, Jeremy."

Laina and I had an emotional breakdown of sorts. I showed her the calendar and showed her what day it was, and then showed her the day she was flying back to Russia. When she understood, she hugged me and said, "No!" I turned from her and made believe I was cooking, but I began to cry. How do we say, "Goodbye?" We aren't allowed to tell them anything regarding adoption. In her mind, this is goodbye forever. For someone who has suffered so much loss, isn't this just another? It is so unnerving to not be able to explain to her what is going on. She realized I was crying and hugged me. The next day she came into the living room, sat down next to me, and said, "I fly home to Russia. You no cry. You no love me. No. I fly home to Russia." I told her that I do love her. She got angry with me and said, "No! No love me! You no love me!" Again, I said that I will always love her. She stormed out of the room, and slammed her bedroom door. I gave her a couple of minutes, went it and she covered her face with a pillow. I said to her in Russian, "Laina, I will love you forever." She began to sob, that gut wrenching, deep soulful hurting cry. I held her and let her cry for about 15 minutes and then she said, "I love you, too, Mamitchska."

Week 1

What a crazy, busy, wonderful week. We are all so exhausted. We've been running here and there and everywhere. Now, every time the kids get into the car, they groan. I can't blame them! We finally spent a couple of days at home, doing nothing. Yelena has been a joy, her presence has already changed our family, in a good way of course. Jeremy has a buddy, which has helped him a lot. They have had their battles, him going in her room and touching her stuff, hiding her dolls, etc. But it is great to see the sibling rivalry. Her personality has remained the same, very spirited, very sweet, very funny.


The other day she watched a Sponge Bob episode that we have on DVD called, "Where's Gary?" It is about Sponge Bob ignoring his pet snail Gary because he is playing video games. Gary runs away and Sponge Bob searches for him, regretting that he forgot about him. We were watching it all together and I looked at Yelena and she had tears running down her face. She didn't want anyone to see. The next day she watched it again twice and tears again rolled down her face. I told her not to watch it because it made her sad, but she insisted. It is times like this that it is so frustrating that we don't speak the same language, but I just hugged her and held her and hoped that was enough.


We also find that Yelena makes friends very easily. She best-friended my nieces in a matter of 10 minutes. We also found that she can count to 11 in English and say the English alphabet. Her vocabulary is growing more and more each day, as is my Russian. Craig says that she and I have some type of inner connection because she'll speak to me and him, I totally get what she is saying and he is like, "How did you get that from that?!"

We also find that sharing food is a sign of affection and love for her. Especially the good stuff, like ice cream and donuts. I am going to get so fat!!! But I can't say no, because it comes from her heart.

We took her to the eye doctor and the drops he put into her eyes burned. She was so mad a me (see pictures). The doctor said she does need glasses and thanks to the Gift of Sight program, they cost us $10! I told Yelena that I was sorry (I had no idea the eye drops burned) and that I loved her. Her face lit up, she smiled and took my hand, told me she love me too, and then kissed me.

Our first week is over and I wish I could stop time.